Submitted by Sun Reporter2 on Tue, 2013-03-26 09:45
Question:
Dear Auntie Nangy, I’m 22 and I have been dating a guy for almost seven years. We are not staying together, we only meet on holidays. He just told me that he impregnated two other ladies. He used to call and SMS me, telling me that he loves me and doesn’t want to lose me, because he just made a mistake. I still love him but I’m also in love with someone else. Should I be with him or should I move on with the new one?
Answer:
I can’t decide for you about whether you should stay with him or not. What I can say is that, if you are prepared to stay with him, even though he has already impregnated two other girls while the two of you were together, then sure thing, go for it. You may, however, have a trust issue with him because you may constantly be asking yourself if he’s been with another lady again. With this kind of behaviour, it doesn’t look like this boyfriend of yours respects you enough. He will have to take responsibility for his actions and you will also be affected. On the other hand, if there is someone else, I think you should give it a try. At the end of the day, the final decision lies with you, because only you know how you feel.
Submitted by Sun Reporter2 on Tue, 2013-03-26 09:45
Question:
Dear Auntie Nangy, I am having a problem with my ex-boyfriend. I want to go back to him, but he fell in love with someone else and she is now pregnant. Please help!
Answer:
What makes you think your ex-boyfriend will want you back, especially now that he has fallen in love with someone else and they are expecting a child together? Do you know this woman and what do you know about the depth of their relationship? If he has not hinted anything in the direction of “I want you back”, then I think you should maybe try moving on. If the two of you, however, feel you still want each other back, then go for it. Your ex should just not forget about his responsibility to his unborn child.
Submitted by Sun Reporter2 on Mon, 2013-03-25 10:12
Question:
Dear Auntie Nangy I am confused. I am 27 and a father of seven children with different mothers. I love them both, but I do not know which one I’m going to take.
Answer:
You have been a very busy man. I think you need to take some time out and really think this over. Are you supporting all these children? Are you there for them? Every child needs his or her father, so I hope you know what you are doing. If you mean you love all the mothers of your children then you will have to learn to stick to one partner. There is HIV to consider and other sexually transmitted diseases, so I hope you know what you are doing. If you mean that you are having trouble choosing between your children, then you should not be having trouble if they are all yours. You helped to make them, now love and support them all equally.
Submitted by Sun Reporter2 on Mon, 2013-03-25 10:11
Question:
Auntie Nangy I’m a 22-year-old girl and one of my girlfriends fell in love with me. I’ve never been so uncomfortable, but she once kissed me and now we’ve been together for almost six months and I feel so different. We have never dated girls before and all of a sudden we’re dating. This girl is madly in love with me. What should I do, because I think I’m having feelings for her? Is it wrong?
Answer:
It is not necessarily wrong to have same-sex relationships, but there are still people who think it is wrong and are totally against it. Some Christians see it as against God’s law. I do not want to encourage you, but it is also not against the country’s law and it is your personal decision. This is not an easy journey you have embarked on, as this could off end your parents or even the community - depending on how religious they are. Should you want to make it public, you must be prepared to receive people’s scorn and stares from time to time.
Submitted by Sun Reporter2 on Mon, 2013-03-25 10:11
Question:
Auntie Nangy I am a 25-year-old lady, caught in a web of confusion. I have been seeing this guy on and o_ for about six months and I am really taken in by him. It’s the first time after a long time that I feel this way about someone. He has been pretty distant for a month or so, he hardly calls and when we do meet up, he looks disinterested, I know this might be the end of things, but I believe in trying to make things work. We haven’t had an argument or anything that would make me think it’s over. Should I let it go or try one more time?
Answer:
The unfair side of love is that you cannot make someone stay if they want to go and you can’t also stop your heart from longing for their love once they are gone. You say that it has been an on-and-o_ thing, so maybe he wants something else. Or it could be that he just does not have time for you. But if you really want something or someone, you will make the time. No matter how hard you try to make things work, if it’s over, it’s over and there is nothing you can do except to move on - hard as it may be. You do not need to have an argument to end a relationship, dear. Sit down with him and ask him about your relationship and whether there is still anything left of it. Be real with yourself, listen to that little voice inside your head and move on if push comes to shove.
Submitted by Sun Reporter2 on Mon, 2013-03-25 10:10
Question:
Auntie Nangy Please help! I’m in love with my family girl. What must I do to get her in my life? I’m crazy in love. What should I do?
Answer:
This kind of thing usually happens with distant cousins. This is where the term ‘kissing cousins’ came from. Usually it does not go too far. You share a few kisses here and there, but in some cultures it is taboo to be romantically involved with a family member. I know that in some Herero families it is acceptable, while others, such as the Owambospeaking people, see it as a taboo. Depending on how closely related the girl is to you, it could also be against the law. Sexual activity between two people who are considered - for moral or genetic reasons - too closely related to have such a relationship can land you in jail. But it does differ from culture to culture.
Submitted by Sun Reporter2 on Mon, 2013-03-25 10:07
Question:
Auntie Nangy I’m 19 and I have a problem with my mom. She is always accusing me of running around with boys and throwing insults at me. She hates me now. The truth is that I have never had a boyfriend, because I don’t think I’m ready. She makes me so mad. I can’t stand it anymore! What can I do, I’m really confused?
Answer:
I don’t think your mother hates you. She has your best interests at heart. Try talking to her to fi nd out why she says all these things to you. Tell her how she makes you feel when she insults you and just have a mother-to-daughter talk. Try to build a relationship where the two of you can talk openly to each other. Share your hopes and dreams with her. These are things you can talk about on a lazy Sunday afternoon and slowly let her into your world. You need to build a relationship where the two of you can communicate with each other.
Submitted by Sun Reporter2 on Fri, 2013-03-22 08:07
Question:
Dear Auntie Nangy, I am a 26-year-old guy and I had unprotected sex with two wrong girls. After I slept with them I started hearing that they sleep around. I’m just worried about my life and all I think about is being HIV-positive although I haven’t gone to be tested yet. I’m afraid to go. Please help me auntie.
Answer:
Unfortunately this is not a problem that will disappear just because you try to ignore it. I know that the uncertainty is weighing you down and is influencing your whole life at the moment but you will just have to go and get tested. If you know what your status is you can make plans but if you are not pro-active then it will seem that your whole life is just spiralling out of control. You will have to take control and the very first thing that you need to do is to face your fear and go and get yourself tested.
Submitted by Sun Reporter2 on Fri, 2013-03-22 08:07
Question:
Dear Auntie Nangy, My girlfriend dumped me for another guy. This has affected me in a very bad way because whenever I see her I feel like crying. How do I get over her? I still love her but the big thing is that we opened cases against each other. Please I want us to forgive each other and I just want my girl back.
Answer:
Start by withdrawing the case you have opened against her and tell her that you have made a big mistake and would like another chance. Even if she does not want to give you another chance you would have done the right thing. It always takes time to get over somebody that you have loved, but unfortunately there is no shortcut to get over the heartache. If trying to reconcile does not work out, it will be up to you to find other things to occupy your time. Good luck.
Submitted by Sun Reporter2 on Fri, 2013-03-22 08:07
Question:
Dear Auntie Nangy, There is this gay guy with whom I slept by accident, but later he started bothering me, so I gave him a second chance. Now his love is driving me crazy. I don’t know if I love him or if I just want him as a sex partner, because my heart just thinks of him all the time, especially if he’s not with me. Do you call this love or what is it that I feel for him? I’m not even sure who I am anymore!
Answer:
Auntie is just as confused as you. How do you sleep with someone “by accident”? What is the relevance that he is gay? What is your gender? How come you miss him, yet you don’t know if you just want him as a sex toy? Why did you give him a second chance and why is his love driving you crazy? Tune in next week for the next episode of “My crazy, gay, second chance... is this love or what?” the most confused, soap opera/ love story in Namibia. Auntie has left the building.
